Crowfeather Speaks: My True Feelings

Hey! Your on Windclan land. What do you want? Yes, im Crowfeather. Whats it mean to you, kittypets?

You want to know how i really feel about Leafpool, and my half clan kits? How do you know about that? Im not even going to ask...

I saved leafpool from falling off a cliff, when Mudclaws rebellion attacked. Yes, that was many seasons ago. When i saved her, i confessed that i loved her. I mean, who wouldnt? Leafpool was a talented, beautiful young cat. I was prepared to leave Windclan for her, and abandon my mother, Ashfoot. But i suppose you know the rest, dont you? We came back, because Thunderclan was being attacked by badgers. We went our seperate ways after that.

Why did i become Nightclouds mate? I loved her! What, you dont believe me? Fine, Kittypet, you win. I only took her as a mate because i needed to prove to Windclan i was still loyal. Why Nightcloud? Well, would you try for a random she-cat, or the one following you around like a lost kit? Nightcloud was an easy cat to become mates with. She mooned over me long enough.

Yes, of course Breezepelts my kit! Why dont you believe me? Because i didnt give him any affection? How would you like an arrogant furball following you around? No, i am NOT like that! Dont say i didnt try. But I never truly loved Nightcloud. She was just my proof for Windclan that i could be loyal. Maybe thats why she made Breezepelt think that. Everytime i ignored him, Nightcloud would tell Breezepelt i was busy thinking about Heathertails training. Who does that?

How did i feel when my kits met me at the border to say i was their father? I didnt believe them at first.Why wouldnt i? I mean, how do you think i felt? you wake up in the middle of the night, and three cats tell me im their father? I thought they were mouse brained! But then for the first time, i focused on the three. Hollyleafs pelt was like mine, and she had Leafpools eyes. Lionblaze was the same color as Leafpool, and Jayfeather... No, he is NOT annoying like me! Why do you keep saying that? Anyways, i began to believe them. But i couldnt face them. Instead i told them off and left. But i silently knew they were mine. What now? I should have said sorry? What did you want me to do, lick them on the head and give them a hug?

When the truth came out? Well, i have to say i felt bad for Hollyleaf. And when Leafpool told me she wanted to tell me... I really wanted to calm her down, i wanted to tell her i loved her, i wanted to forgive her. But for Starclans sake, Nightcloud, Breezepelt, every clan was there! I couldnt screech out to the world i loved her. Nightcloud would have my tail off in a heartbeat.

Look, its almost sunset. Whitetail will come looking for me. What now? Okay, this is the last question! Why did i save Lionblaze in the battle? Why do you think? He was my son! Did you think i was going to let that arrogant excuse for a cat kill the one of my kits i most admired?

Yes, what i said was true. I regret nothing. Hollyleaf was a talented young cat, and Lionblaze is the greatest fighter ive ever seen. Jayfeathers learned alot from Leafpool. But i dont think he'll ever appreciate me.

I have to get going. Not a WORD to any cat about this, got it? Ill have your head if you do!